Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I would fuck him just for his dog
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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