is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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