16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Randomize
