I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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