I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
