Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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