According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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