Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize