So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
