Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
