weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
