My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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