Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
