i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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