Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
