whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
