i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
