Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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