I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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