Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
