the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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