weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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