Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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