How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize