South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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