We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
