She's JV to your varsity
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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