It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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