Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
