epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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