Jerry, you need to find god
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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