Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
