You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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