Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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