I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
