Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
