New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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