So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
