My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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