my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
