Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
