Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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