oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
