That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
