Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
