I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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