I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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