I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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