We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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