Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize