Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize