We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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