Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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