How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
