I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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