you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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