the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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