Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
