he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
