I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
